Remarkable Adventures of a Corpse.
Not long since a native of the Emerald Isle, one of the victims of the late arsenal explosion, died in this city, and immediately preparations were made to give him a nice, genteel funeral. It was at first arranged that he should be buried here, but some of his kindred being buried at Parkersburg, West Virginia, it was finally determined that what remained of poor Johnny M__ should be sent to that place. Accordingly, after a “wake,” (one of the good old sort.) the remains were accompanied by his sorrowing friends and relatives to the depot, to take the cars for the place of burial. The funeral procession arrived at the depot some time before the departure of the train in which the remains were to go, and the mourners spent the intervening time in assuaging their sorrows at the neighboring bars, so abundant in that vicinity, the corpse meanwhile remaining on the platform ready to be placed on the 9 P.M. train which would connect at the Relay House with the western train.
The party meanwhile drank so many libations to the memory of the departed that they returned to the station in a very mellow condition, and the railroad officers being apprehensive that they would be incapable of taking care of the corpse, telegraphed to the agent at the Relay to see that the corpse was taken off at that point. Shortly before the time of starting the corpse was placed on the train, and an attempt was made to muster the mourners when it was ascertained that one or two had become so obfusticated as to have taken the New York train. The rest of the party, however, managed to get aboard, and ere long Johnny M—’s body was again “marching on.” At the Relay the corpse was transferred to the western train, but two or three of the mourners were too far gone to get out in time, and so proceeded to Baltimore, while the balance of the party with the corpse was hurried on with extra speed westward.
At the points along the road where the engine stopped “to water,” the mourners as invariable stepped “to wet,” and not being up to time, quite as invariably a brace or more were left behind at each watering and wetting place and by the time Grafton was reached, where the corpse was to change cars for Parkersburg, but few of the mourners remained with it, and these were so bewildered that they failed to get in the proper train, and Johnny’s corpse went on to Wheeling without them. From thence, by some means, it was sent to Columbus, Ohio, the corpse thus having got into the wrong State, and the mourners being scattered through Maryland and West Virginia, and along the line of the Baltimore, Wilmington and Philadelphia and Camden and Amboy Railroads. By this time the telegraph was put into excited operation, and various messages were whisked over the wires in various directions in regard to the missing corpse and scattered mourners, making confusion doubly confounded for awhile.
From Grafton an anxious mourner inquired, “Where in the d—l is the corpse?” This dispatch was crossed on the road by a loud inquiry from Columbus as to the ownership of a stray corpse arrived there unconsigned. A Baltimore scattered mourner telegraphed to “postpone the funeral till I get there;” and the squad of-mourners by the New York train were sending wildly confused messages to Parkersburg, Relay House, Grafton, and Washington, all helping to intensify the prevailing muddle. The corpse, meantime, had resumed its travels, and, like poor Joe, not being wanted in any locality, had been kept moving on, until it arrived at Little Miami depot, where it created no little excitement, being without any mark for identification, and foul play being at once suspected. A coroner’s inquest was held without throwing any light upon the mystery, which was, however, cleared up by a telegraphic despatch for the missing corpse. The railway officials then got the corpse in motion eastward, and the mourners headed westward, and finally, after the most eventful history of any corpse or set of mourners on record, Johnny’s body was duly committed by them to mother earth, where we trust it may rest in peace.
The Iowa Transcript [Toledo IA] 14 February 1866: p. 3
On 17 June, 1864, there was a dreadful explosion at the Washington Arsenal, which killed 21 young women workers. ‘Johnny M__’ was killed in an explosion on 19 December, 1865, at the Arsenal at Greenleaf’s Point. The list of known dead, issued with several men missing, included one John Mechan. I have not been able to find a record of his grave.
Chris Woodyard is the author of The Victorian Book of the Dead, The Ghost Wore Black, The Headless Horror, The Face in the Window, and the 7-volume Haunted Ohio series. She is also the chronicler of the adventures of that amiable murderess Mrs Daffodil in A Spot of Bother: Four Macabre Tales. The books are available in paperback and for Kindle. Indexes and fact sheets for all of these books may be found by searching hauntedohiobooks.com. Join her on FB at Haunted Ohio by Chris Woodyard or The Victorian Book of the Dead. And visit her newest blog, The Victorian Book of the Dead.
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